We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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