Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
