You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
