Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize