You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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