i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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