fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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