And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
