dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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