problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
