I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
