im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
