Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
