Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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