I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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