I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize