Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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