I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
