Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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