we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
