Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
