"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
