Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
