The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
