i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
