Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you traded sex for a burrito?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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