thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
