omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
