I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sext me about skeletons
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
