SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
