I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday