The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.