that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
