Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
