You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
