If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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