Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
