A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
