do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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