1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
