hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize