rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
