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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
