i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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