the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This is the high leading the old right now
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
