It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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