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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.