I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
The best revenge is premature balding
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed