My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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