Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Someone signed my nipple.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
