I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize