I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
