Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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