if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
