let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
