Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
