Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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