therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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