The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
