you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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