is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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